At just 26 years old, Michael has endured significant hardships. Growing up in Niagara Falls, his early years were overshadowed by trauma and loss. From a young age, Michael was thrust into the complexities of substance use disorder—not just his own, but his mother’s as well. “My mom was an addict,” he recalls. ” During my early childhood I experienced a lot of traumas. I was in accidents with her, car accidents, and even saved her life at one point.” The instability at home, coupled with witnessing his mother’s struggles, left an indelible mark on him. The situation escalated when his parents divorced, and a subsequent house fire further disrupted his sense of security.
The most devastating blow came when Michael was just 11 years old: the death of his mother. “She didn’t die from an overdose, but I believe it was a complication from a relapse,” he shares. Her passing on his father’s birthday, which often falls on Mother’s Day, felt like a cruel twist of fate. “It felt like I was targeted by life,” Michael admits. “I was filled with anger and resentment. I hated the idea of God and refused to believe in anything or anyone.”
Finding Strength Amid Adversity
In the aftermath, Michael grappled with overwhelming emotions. He developed a severe stutter due to anxiety, making simple conversations a struggle. By age 12, Michael turned to substances as a means of escape. He found solace in a friend group that shared similar hardships—loss of parents, learning disabilities, and familial addiction. “We all had something in common,” he explains. “That’s where I thought I had found myself.”
His substance use evolved into dependence on alcohol, benzodiazepines, and cocaine. The substances became a way to self-medicate. “Alcohol was the baseline—it made me be me,” he says. “The benzodiazepines were for my anxiety, the cocaine for happiness, hallucinogenics to be spiritual. Everything about me and my emotions were a lie.”
Despite attending six treatment programs, Michael continued to struggle with substance use. Each time, he tried to “fix his entire life in a 28-day program,” only to have a recurrence of use soon after. Tragically, within an eight-day span, Michael lost two friends to overdoses. “It was a necessary part of my story,” he says somberly. “I was in such a dark place, using the same substances that ultimately took their lives.” These losses served as a painful wake-up call, reinforcing his commitment to recovery. “After that, I wanted to give 120% to my own recovery,” he says.
Building a Life Beyond Substance Use
Michael and Ronald Corpening, CASAC-2, Counselor at Cazenovia Manor
Michael entered Caz and things began to change. “I was more willing than ever to work on all the barriers to my recovery,” he says. At Cazenovia Manor, Michael found support through group therapy, particularly those focusing on spirituality and overcoming barriers to recovery. He credits staff members like Ron Corpening, a counselor at the program, for his impactful facilitation and feedback. “Faith in God became the last piece of the puzzle,” he reflects. “It’s not that I have it all figured out, but now I have hope and a purpose.” This newfound faith helped alleviate his anxiety, and remarkably, his lifelong stutter began to wane. “Dealing with the root of my problem really alleviated that source of anxiety,” he explains. “The stuttering just started to cease.” Michael also reconnected with his father, rebuilding a relationship strained by years of addiction. “He is the most supportive he’s ever been,” Michael shares with a smile. “We can play pool together, bond over things. He’s proud, and I can see it in the way he’s acting.” Now, five months into his journey at Caz Recovery, Michael has achieved milestones he once thought impossible. He recently celebrated losing 40 pounds, his self-esteem has improved, and he’s reestablished connections with his extended family. “I got the opportunity to text my grandmother this morning and tell her about this interview,” he says. “It’s truly beyond anything I could have thought of.”
A Future Fueled by Purpose
Looking to the future, Michael plans to stay with Caz and transition to Unity House. He’s considering continuing his hospitality career but is open to all other opportunities including becoming a peer advocate. “I’m really open to doing a lot of different things,” he says. “Wherever God is leading me, that’s the path I’m on right now.”
And Michael’s advice to those who may be struggling. “There’s a life out there waiting that’s unimaginable compared to the depths of addiction. Find someone who inspires you and learn from them. Recovery is a gift, but you have to want it more than anything.”
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